You may know that I am married to Ruben who is not a Christian. Marriage is a Holy union created by God and is lifelong (Romans 7:2)(Mark 10:9). But being in a marriage where we are on different sides brings some unique challenges.
Now, some say a Christian marrying an unbeliever is not wrong. I disagree. It’s like committing fornication and getting blessed with a child. I believe the act (not the marriage 1 Corinthians 7:14) is sinful because of several passages and verses, such as 2 Corinthians 6:14. Simply put, disobedience to God’s Word is sinning. We see in 1 Corinthians 7:39 that widows are told to marry someone who loves the Lord. Single (never married) people are not excluded here. 1 Corinthians 7: 12, 13 says we should not just leave an unbelieving spouse. However, if the unbeliever wants to leave, we should let him or her go–though that doesn’t mean we’re free to marry another as you can see in verses like Romans 7:2 mentioned above and 1 Corinthians 7: 10, 11. (I used to agree with the popular beliefs about divorce and marriage until I carefully studied multiple passages and put the pieces together).
A Christian can indeed be yoked to unbelievers in various ways, and this situation can also occur when one spouse comes to the Lord and not the other, which I still believe is similar to me because I did not have a true relationship with Christ before I married. For one, I produced no Fruit and had no spiritual growth (James 2:17). I believed in God, but that’s not much different than evil spirits (James 2:19). In the best-case scenario, I was on spiritual life support.
We had a private ceremony in Europe and another celebration with friends and family when we came back home. The first year of my marriage was weird. For some reason, I was happy with my husband and life but was terribly distressed. I would get severely depressed about the smallest things, and I remember one time the thought of suicide randomly popped in my head, which was weird. I felt like something was oppressing me. (sometimes depression is spiritually rooted)
Time moved on, and whatever belief I had in God became distorted. I began to allow worldly philosophies to become a reality. A little more time went by, and I began to suffer from severe insomnia and felt like something was bothering me in my sleep.
That was the beginning of a series of unfortunate events, which led to my husband and I’s world being flipped upside down. It gets quite surreal, horror-movie scary, and extremely painful. We all have a story, and God wanted me to go through that. I know now that I wasn’t prepared for spiritual battle. Thankfully, Christ came and helped me, strengthened my faith, and equipped me with the full Armour of God. Ephesians 6:11-17
I also know that my husband came with spiritual baggage that I just could not see. This demonic stronghold is something I can see move in his whole family. But these invisible problems are everywhere, and only Christ’s blood can protect you.
With all that, I must say that I am madly in love with my earthly mate and can’t see myself without him. We talk for hours and reminisce about our happy and sad times. We’re oddly inseparable. We have philosophical debates, and he helps strengthen my faith. Each year, I fall more in love with him with Godly Love. It’s amazing seeing God work in me and show me what true Love is (1 Corinthians 13:4-8; etc).
Of course, this is not the case all the time. There are times I’m not spiritually content and don’t want to be in a marriage where we are on opposite sides. I want us to have the same spiritual foundation now! I wonder if I could have chosen an easier path and find myself flying though my memories before my world was so brutally awaken. My husband’s words are like daggers every time he disrespects my God, even though he tries not to. Sometimes, I feel like he takes his hate for God out on me, which makes sense as his god is satan and mine is Yahweh.
These are the times when the Lord talks to me and tells me He is in charge. He lets me know that my choices are His plan. My life experiences are meant to strengthen me so that I can be who Christ wants to be. And, somehow, I know everything will work out for my good.
I’m learning to be content with my current state and taping into that happiness that lives in me. I know that wallowing in these emotions is damaging on multiple levels of my being. I am learning from my past but not living in it. So I continue to pray for my husband and our marriage without ceasing. I know that God may rest on him someday, and I’m waiting for that moment.
I am a child of God, so the enemy will always try to break my faith by attacking my sanctified marriage and anything else.
God is my escape from the heartaches that come in this life. So I get lost in His Word, prayer, and praise and end up in a garden of communion. I am truly learning that to get through this life, God is the only phix I need.
Shalom,
